Saturday, February 25, 2012

The Blame Game

When in love, do as lovers do. Ever watch two people in love? They are so close that you wonder if they are really two separate individuals. Maybe that is why they refer to people in love as becoming one?

They gaze deep into each others eyes and count the hours til they are back together. They are affectionate and gentle, loving and nurture each other in word and deed. But that is in the beginning, when they are both new and shiny. Well what about relationships that are not so new? How do we return them to the luster and beauty they once were?

We can start with removing blame from our minds and mouths. We tend to harbor ill feelings when we feel that someone has done something to us that is hurtful or have forgotten us in some way or another.

If we can simply refuse to blame them for our happiness, then we can see past human frailties and fault and love unconditionally. It is hard, but it is achievable. One step at a time and you will remove the unspoken contracts that you have placed on your relationships and the expectations that you have developed from childhood upbringing and culture.

People who love you or supposed to love you do not seek out ways to hurt you. If you know the person loves you, then the chances are we have created this idea in our heads that they did something to us. If we let go of those types of thoughts, we can move back into love. That shiny, new chapter of the relationship that can blossom into stronger bonds of love, care and nurturing.