Sunday, August 24, 2008

Back to Romance

With all the preparation for back to school, I'd like to shift the focus to romance. Here is some fondue to ponder.

The initial phase of a relationship is based largely on physical attraction; you see him, he sees you, he likes what he sees and so do you. The intensity of your passions run high; you want to touch, kiss and hold them, talk to them often, be in their presence every waking hour, and involve each of the six senses in this new found relationship.

I liken this time to a pot of boiling water; initially set on high, the water produces large bubbles and raging activity. Turn it down a notch, between high and medium, and the water is still as hot, but the bubbles are reduced to a rolling effect. Turn it even lower and the rolling is greatly minimized. Turned down to a simmer, and the water loses its intense heat and eventually begins to evaporate.

Because physical appearance initially attracts a mate, in most cases, that is what’s going to keep the waters boiling in a relationship. If he loves your hair, keep it looking touchable and beautifully styled. If she loves your abs and chest, then spend a little time to keep your middle tight, so that each time she sees you without a shirt, she lusts for you. Does your beer belly drag across her body obstructing her breathing? Have your sweats or torn T-shirts become your daily attire. (Mmmm , sexy!) When the visual stimuli, which attracted your partner goes from enticing to a loss of sexual appetite, where is their motivation to stir things up?

Self neglect is a sign that you're complacent in the relationship. I know you're probably saying 'Our love has grown past the physical and our relationship means more than sex', (I don't doubt that.) 'I have children and they demand a lot of time and attention'. And so I pose the question, what about you and your needs? Do you feel sexy? Think about how many men and women seek that physical excitement outside of their relationships; he finds a hot, young sexy woman to act out his fantasies and she gets it on with the svelte new guy at the gym. Most of the men in strip clubs have on wedding bands. Although they may not act on it, the desire for what attracts them is still present. Sexual images are everywhere, not that men need any more reason to think about sex, but we are inundated with sexy advertising and movies, video games etcetera. Even UPS has a reputation for having the sexiest drivers. (We love to look at them in those shorts.)

Loving and caring for yourself is part of the affections you show for your love interest. How you feel about yourself reflects in how you present yourself to the world and to your partner. If you let yourself go, or fail to devote time to your physical appearance, people around you will notice. Look at this way; placed on a table are two cakes, one is beautifully decorated and the other one is lopsided and ragged. Which one do you think you mate would you rather indulge? Enough said.

Self neglect is a sign that you are complacent in the relationship. Yeah, well what about you and your needs? How you feel about yourself is reflected in how you present yourself to the world. If you let yourself go, so will the people around you. They will allow you to continue to give and sacrifice time for yourself. Love and care for yourself first. You’ll feel better about yourself and, as you replenish your love bank, you ultimately have more love to give to others.